If Ain't Broken, Don't Fix It (especially when it comes to burgers)

How do I say this delicately? “If ain’t broken, don’t fix it” seems like an appropriate idiom for Spork. Spork, an upscale diner in the Mission District, had been waiting patiently on my to-do list for months. I found myself in the ‘hood (Valencia & 22nd-ish) Saturday night around 7pm and was quite surprised to find the place half-empty (I just noticed I instinctively chose to write “half empty” rather than my normal “half full” – perhaps an indication of my true feelings toward the place??? Freud, eat your heart out). My companion and I bellied right up to the diner-style bar (think plastic stools and paper napkin dispensers). Spork is known for its inside out burger, so that pick was a no brainer.

Back to the idiom. As you can see from the photo, Spork’s approach to the burger is to switch the buns with beef patties and the patty with a bun. It's a clever idea and I’m not afraid of a lot of meat. For various reasons, it fails miserably. Here is a list of my problems:

1. When asked how I wanted the beef cooked, I responded with my normal response (“mooing.”) I have never seen beef cooked so thoroughly. Strike 1.

2. The “bun” in the middle is totally absorbed by the meat to the point of disappearing, creating more of a meatloaf result.

3. The $3 bacon add-on is an insult to pigs around the world. It had the consistency of a relish – spreadable. Again, they tried to get clever on a staple and it totally backfires.

4. The Fries – can a girl just get a plate of freakin’ French fries?! Not at Spork. The “fries” are really four cutesy potato blossoms. Do not ask about the ketchup serving size. It will make me upset.

To recap, Spork tries to get creative in their delivery and it backfires on three fronts (Burger, bacon, and French fries). I *guess* I’m glad I went to see what the fuss is about, but when the burger craving strikes, there's no chance I will be returning to Spork.

One thing Spork has going for it: it’s three blocks from Luna Park (home of the best bread pudding in the world). And yes, the bread pudding is as good as ever. Best ever. Ever. Ever!!!!



EVER.

I Ordered Soup

Noon-time on Friday found my parents and me at Embarcadero 4 for lunch at Sens Restaurant, a Mediterranean spot offering gorgeous views of the Ferry Building and Bay Bridge. I still remember exactly what I ordered there two years ago (lamb burger), which is probably the highest compliment I can offer a restaurant.

Fighting the overwhelming urge to order the lamb burger again, I did something I haven’t done since the last time I had the flu: I ordered soup. To be fair, I also ordered the eggplant flatbread appetizer for a sense of balance. The soup du jour (insert Dumb & Dumber joke here) was described to me as some sort of Moroccan lentil/vegetable concoction. Here I go with the superlatives: this was the best soup I’ve ever had. In spite of being tomato based, it was thick, rich, and filling; comparable to chili. I can’t tell the difference between spices and flavors (beyond “chocolate” vs. “vanilla”), so your guess is as good as mine when it comes to which components created such a heart-warming bowl of goodness. The flatbreads were equally comforting: warm, chewy pita topped with pesto, cheese, cherry tomatoes and eggplant. Quite a generous serving for an $8 appetizer, too.

My dad described his lamb burger as unique (“there are chunks of other things in this patty”) and my mom raved about the salad on the side of her chicken wrap even more so than the wrap itself. Everything served at Sens has a distinct Mediterranean feel; lots of lemons, olive oil, and yogurt flavoring.

I have a policy about ordering bread pudding when out at restaurants. It’s not something you can have at home or pick up quickly at a bakery. Thus, it must be ordered when available. Continuing its amazing run, Sens offered a banana bread pudding with brown sugar ice cream and caramel sauce. The dessert was at the same level as everything else, thus making this a Sens-ational meal from start to finish.

Neither Here Nor There

This is a tough entry to write because Café Claude wasn’t overwhelming good nor it was it exceptionally terrible. It’s … just a French spot hidden away on Claude Lane (a small alley between Pine and Bush). I won’t go out of my way to return but certainly won’t turn my nose up either. You get the point. (Call me if you want more ways to describe “middle of the road.”).

I was not in a sandwich mood (a rare occasion for me) and was looking to eat something I don’t get to try very often. I ended up with the steak tartare. Now, that is how I like my beef cooked! As you can see from the photos, the dish consists of a decent portion of raw steak and crostini-style bread, some seasonings, and a small raw egg. I think steak tartare is inherently mild and not something that will blow your mind. My dad and I also shared potato gratin. Again, it was tasty but not mind blowing.

My mom went with my second choice – a bacon, egg, and cheese quiche. I had a bite, and a part of me wish I had ordered this one instead. Chewy/flakey crust: Check. Bacon: Check. Rich, gooey cheese: check.

Interestingly, the restaurant is hidden away in nondescript alleyway, yet is a pretty large space once you walk in. In spite of the generous square footage, Café Claude packs its diners to the rafters. This creates a noisy dining room and some agitation for those with claustrophobic tendencies.

Bottom line, in a city with such stellar dining options, Café Claude can wait.

A Non-Mission Mission Spot

Sarah G FINALLY joined the 25 Club (ok, one day after me…) and to celebrate five of us ventured to the place of her choosing, Andalu. Located on 16th between Guerrero and Valencia, this place is smack dab in the middle of a hoppin’ Mission district block. As I stepped inside the door, I was overwhelmed with the aroma of quality fried food. I got pretty giddy as I eyed the plates as I made my way to the upstairs table.

Andalu’s shtick is small plates, and not of one specific genre or geographical region that I could glean. The menu is bordering on overwhelming (but only because I wanted all of them): tartars, short ribs, sliders, mac’n’cheese, fondues, salads, fries, bacon wrapped pork, fish… the list goes on and on; each averaging about $10 a pop. The server advised 2-3 plates/person which I would disagree with; the small plates – to Andalu’s credit – or more “medium” in portion and 1-2 per person is plenty.

The ladies and I shared about six plates. Once the “ooohs” and “ahhhs” died down and the eyes returned from the back of the head, I took a straw poll about the favorites. The fondue (served with sliced pear and crispy bread) and the Mac’n’cheese came out tops. Did you know you can bread and deep fry mac’n’cheese? I did not. Picture a mozzarella stick filled with mac’n’cheese and you have an idea of how Andalu does it. Entirely unexpected and so delicious.

I’ve gone on many a rant about the Mission district but Andalu gives me renewed optimism about the neighborhood as a whole. As home to such destination places like Delfina, Range, Beretta, and others, the “professional” food critics devote all their admiration and attention here. My opinion is that, generally speaking, the hot Mission spots we read about daily in the Chronicle offer pretty much the same thing at the same quality in the same atmosphere. Before I get carried away (again), I want to conclude by saying that while Andalu does follow the small plate trend, the offering is entirely different than its neighbors and exists in a category of its own.

Lastly, as we walked out, the birthday girl stated Andalu was Top 5. As her friends, we could not have asked for more.

My Cup Runneth Over

What better way to spend a sunny, 65 degree day than at a downtown lunch date with my dad? With the sun shining and the bay glistening, I met my dad at The Cosmopolitan (Spear between Mission and Howard). I recall being quite pleased with my initial visit two years ago, and the urge to return had been nagging at me for weeks.

Wow. Talk about underrated. Forget One Market or MarketBar! Few have heard of this place, despite its prominent downtown location and all-around gastronomic excellence. This is the perfect location for a business meeting, a girls-only lunch, date, or Happy Hour. The lighting is advantageous, the noise-level is conversational, service is excellent, and the fries – as my dad exclaimed – are “extraordinary.” I probably don’t need to continue (but I will).

My dad started with the $5/2 Martini lunch special (not a type-o) and I ordered a glass of Sauv Blanc. Upon their prompt delivery, I ordered the daily special (grilled Ahi tuna/Avocado sandwich with onion rings) and my dad the beef brisket sando. Sandwiches are by no means the only option; it was an extremely tough call between the chicken pot pie and the assortment of appealing fish options. Something for everyone. We also pre-ordered the sourdough-toffee bread pudding for dessert, as the menu wisely advised of the 25 minute preparation time.

I’ve found Ahi often falls into the trap of being too bland, but this one was grilled and seasoned to tasty perfection. The bread was soft and chewy – complimenting the delicate fish rather than overwhelming it. I didn’t taste my dad’s brisket sandwich, but by the look on his face he was a happy camper. I DID gather an ample sample-size of my dad’s fries and they were the stuff Top 5 lists are made of. I didn’t have the chance to ask how they were prepared, but my guess is they are double fried and/or fried in a special oil. Throw some garlic and herbs on top of that – speechless.

Just as I started to think “hmm, some dessert would hit the spot about now,” out came the bread pudding. It wasn’t quite Luna Park- good, but it was a unique preparation. (That is what I love about bread pudding – you never know how it will come out). It was extremely chocolatey and served with a dollop of coffee ice cream.

Not a single aspect of this dining experience missed a single beat. The food, the service, the location, the prices – they all added up to a top-notch meal. I don’t care who you are with or what meal you’re eating – book The Cosmopolitan pronto!

A new favorite

After a second failed attempt to dine at Barbacco (totally booked at 11:45am and doesn’t accept reservations…), the parents and I headed toward the Transamerica building for Italian fare at Aventine. As they say, “when one door closes, another door opens:” Aventine was surprisingly delightful. I have been there a few times for drinks, but have never eaten anything there, and was actually a little apprehensive about the portion sizes. Several factors – location, ambiance, genre – contributed to my hunch that portions would be “delicate.”

I was wrong. We started with the Bruschetta Trio ($8) which came with 8 large pieces, each several bites. Two were topped with tomatoes, two with mushrooms, and two with a mixed vegetable slaw. I ordered the muffaletta sandwich and actually had to remove some of the meat so I could better appreciate the perfectly toasted Italian bread. I only ate half and bagged the rest for dinner! My dad thoroughly enjoyed his ham & cheese sandwich and my mom was impressed with her chicken nicoise salad.

For reasons I am not sure, Aventine was pretty much empty. It’s a small space, so it didn’t feel awkward, but in the hour we were there, there were probably about six other diners. Normally, by 12:30pm on a Friday, everywhere in the Financial District is packed to the rafters, especially on a sunny day like today. This atypical situation translated to a peaceful ambiance and attentive service.

Very highly recommended. Aventine will stand out in mind above the rest.

"Credo" I would go back

After a brief hiatus from the dining scene – conscious about $$/stomach pooches before impending Paris immoderation – I joined the parentals for lunch at a new spot in the Financial District called Credo. “Credo” is Italian for “I believe” and the walls are aptly adorned with famous statements beginning with the phrase (think Martin Luther King…). So, not a bad spot to take a boring companion, as you can depend on about 100 famous names and quotes on the wall to spur conversation. In fact, after my mom had run out of questions about Paris, when I’d land, does Jennifer know I’m coming? Have you packed? Are you going to the Louvre? Flying direct? SFO? Oak? Won’t you be jet lagged? Will your iPhone work? Long term parking or cab? What’s the weather report? April in Paris is supposed to be beautiful! Does your boss know you’re out next week?... I could finally take a look at the fun, historical quotes on the wall.

Anyway, that was way too much non-food dialogue. All in all, the food value to price ratio was extremely favorable. The menu – not surprisingly – is chock full of Italian classics like Pizza Margherita, lasagna, various paninis, and pasta dishes. Prices range from $10-15. My chicken pesto Panini was one of the better I’ve had. You know the bread is fresh and authentic. One memorable moment was when I asked the waiter for ketchup: “vee don’t have cashup…” Huh? I am all about authenticity, but no ketchup? I have my boundaries! As Lloyd says in Dumb & Dumber, the waiter then “totttalllllllly redeemed himself” by bringing a spicy aioli dipping sauce. Crisis averted. My mom’s prosciutto Panini was the weakest of the bunch (too dry). My dad licked his lasagna clean.

One observation we all made was about the noise level. Toward the end, we were leaning in just to hear each other. It didn’t ruin the experience, but certainly one of the noisier lunch places I’ve been to.