How Do I Write This Delicately?

I felt an odd sense of relief as I walked out of Comstock Saloon after a (barely) mediocre culinary experience. It served as proof that I don’t L-O-V-E everywhere I go and not everything is rainbows and butterflies in San Francisco. There are a few doozies, such as Comstock, to remind me this city is in fact real-life and not heaven-on-earth. My recent string of visits – Baker & Banker, Terzo – obscured this fact. Comstock is a relatively new saloon-style bar/restaurant in the North Bean space that used to be San Francisco Brewing Company for decades. I had been there before for a cocktail (which is their specialty and probably what they should stick to). I was actually surprised to learn they served lunch a few days ago as I thought it was exclusively a boozing spot.

Interestingly, my first impression today was a good one. The atmosphere is dark and Western; it felt like a blast from the past. The bartender has a cheesy hook mustache and Western vest. The dining room was nearly empty so I could actually hear my company. The menu is short and quality fare. Tri-tip sandos, po’ boys, pot pies, etc. Everything is hunky dory until the eating part. I settled on a “Pig in a Biscuit:” pulled pork patties on a biscuit. It came out exactly as described, but as three sliders. Red flags went up after the very first bite: the patty was barely warm, the biscuit itself was average (biscuits have life-changing potential), and there was no condiments!! No cheese, dressing, butter … nothing! The result is a cold, dry bite. Adding insult to injury is that the serving size is pretty small – the only reason I cleaned my plate was because I was STARVING. No fries, bread basket, or any sort of goody to accompany the main attraction.

My parents were similarly underwhelmed – particularly around the portion size. My dad hadn’t finished his final bite of steak pot-pie when he asked “what’s for dinner?” My mom’s tri-tip sandwich was bigger than ours, but the meat looked like cold cuts.

Having had a drink there, I can say there are redeeming qualities. My advice is to drink your calories at Comstock – please do not eat them.