How Do I Write This Delicately?

I felt an odd sense of relief as I walked out of Comstock Saloon after a (barely) mediocre culinary experience. It served as proof that I don’t L-O-V-E everywhere I go and not everything is rainbows and butterflies in San Francisco. There are a few doozies, such as Comstock, to remind me this city is in fact real-life and not heaven-on-earth. My recent string of visits – Baker & Banker, Terzo – obscured this fact. Comstock is a relatively new saloon-style bar/restaurant in the North Bean space that used to be San Francisco Brewing Company for decades. I had been there before for a cocktail (which is their specialty and probably what they should stick to). I was actually surprised to learn they served lunch a few days ago as I thought it was exclusively a boozing spot.

Interestingly, my first impression today was a good one. The atmosphere is dark and Western; it felt like a blast from the past. The bartender has a cheesy hook mustache and Western vest. The dining room was nearly empty so I could actually hear my company. The menu is short and quality fare. Tri-tip sandos, po’ boys, pot pies, etc. Everything is hunky dory until the eating part. I settled on a “Pig in a Biscuit:” pulled pork patties on a biscuit. It came out exactly as described, but as three sliders. Red flags went up after the very first bite: the patty was barely warm, the biscuit itself was average (biscuits have life-changing potential), and there was no condiments!! No cheese, dressing, butter … nothing! The result is a cold, dry bite. Adding insult to injury is that the serving size is pretty small – the only reason I cleaned my plate was because I was STARVING. No fries, bread basket, or any sort of goody to accompany the main attraction.

My parents were similarly underwhelmed – particularly around the portion size. My dad hadn’t finished his final bite of steak pot-pie when he asked “what’s for dinner?” My mom’s tri-tip sandwich was bigger than ours, but the meat looked like cold cuts.

Having had a drink there, I can say there are redeeming qualities. My advice is to drink your calories at Comstock – please do not eat them.

2010 Recap: The Year of the Asian Empire

As I began to compile my “Best of 2010” list a few weeks ago, I quickly realized my personal highlights were predominantly Asian-influenced. I just can’t wrap my head around this. I very rarely proactively seek out Asian fare; I find myself sitting down for Asian fare when someone else is choosing the spot. I don’t even know how to use chopsticks! I’m a burger and French fry girl! I’ll probably spend weeks reflecting on this, but my guess is that because I am drawn so often to Western-food that it’s hard for a single dish to come out atop the rest, especially in a city whose food is as top notch as it is here. Competition is thick and crowded at the top.

I could spend all day getting pshyo-analytic on this issue but let’s cut to the chase (the list, that is). I’ve delineated my top 5 and thrown in a few extra categories for spots that deserve recognition but may not have made the all-around cut.
Bottom line: There were many happy dances in my stomach this year. More to come in 2011!

5. Unicorn – (Pan Asian Cuisine): I know, you’ve never heard of it. If you work downtown, I guarantee you’ve walked by it a thousand times – and kept walking. While on my two-month vegan stint, I was desperate for any place with just one vegan option. This place has a whole SECTION on the Pan-Asian Fusion menu. Feeling adventurous, I ordered the bean curd (sounds gross, I know). Upon my first bite, I hailed the waitress as I was convinced she mistakenly gave me chicken. What was on my plate looked a lot like white chicken strips and tasted like it too. The waitress politely told me she did not err and that bean curd is just that “meaty.” The sheer shock of this was enough to ingrain Unicorn to memory; but the spicy mango sauce and eggplant accompaniment made it downright GOOD in its own right. I’ll order it again, vegan or not.

4. Sens (Mediterranean-ish): I dined here several times this year, probably because it’s so close to my office (when the office is looking for somewhere to go, I always suggest here because the food is sens-sational – the pun itself equals automatic veto – but I just can’t help it!!). Each of my visits this year were just so…pleasing. I distinctly remember having an amazing soup, pizza, and tartare on different visits. Coupled with million-dollar views, Sens has a little something for everyone. Great for groups.

3. Tadich Grill (Seafood): An SF institution that is not all hype! It remains one of the oldest restaurants in the city, and for whatever reason, it took me nearly three years to get there. Several months later, I am still salivating about the seafood curry casserole. So warm, so hearty. The service, history, portion-size, and bread pudding dessert all make this a must.

2. Bix (American): Oh Bix. Sweet, sweet Bix. The restaurant itself is my very favorite in the city (dark and elegant, cozy booths, long bar, classic 1930s jazz feel – all tucked away on a hidden alley-way). I walk in and have to stop to take a deep breath to take it all in. Bix, to me, epitomizes all that San Francisco is and should be. Oh yeah, and they have a burger that is HELLA good. I had it twice this year and it remains my favorite. A single bite and you know you’re getting high quality beef with all the perfect accoutrements: bacon cured in-house, fresh cheese, and a perfect bun. This is my go-to “special occasion” place.

1. The House (Asian Fusion): I recently reviewed this. It’s a tight race between Bix and House for the number one spot, but the sheer unexpectedness of this visit gives it the edge. I was blown away by it all. I had heard it was good, but I didn’t realize the food would be unlike anything I’ve ever tasted. They take a normal dish (crab cake, for example) and make it heart-stoppingly good.

And now for Corinne Categories:

“You’re going to get made fun of for admitting that” winner: Osha (Thai): That was my mom’s response when I told her Osha Thai is one of my very favorite. Yes, there are several locations around the city (I refuse to use the term “chain”). The ingredients probably aren’t local, or orgranic, or grass-fed but I don’t care. Their curry dishes are big, relatively inexpensive, and darn tasty!

Best Tourist Trap: Scomas (Seafood): An out of town co-worker claims this is the cioppino he’s ever had in his whole entire life - and he’s approaching 60. Yes, it’s in the heart of Fisherman Wharf’s and I nearly had a hernia getting past all the tourists to meet him here. But I had to hand it to him, the cioppino was excellent. Warm, flavorful, and jam-packed with fresh seafood. I had to pack up half – which turned out to be quite nice when lunchtime the following day rolled around. It’s worth braving the tourist mayhem.

When you want an Experience, not just a meal: Acquerello: (Italian): This is an engagement, 1/5/10 year anniversary, or major birthday place. I remember the food as much as I remember the attention to detail – each member of my party having a personal waiter, the step stool provided to me so my purse won’t touch the ground, the complimentary hand-made chocolate truffles at the end. The box of biscotti given to the ladies (but not the men). It’s a show as much as it is a meal.

Best non-restaurant meal: Thanksgiving Dinner: My Aunt Suzanne KILLED IT this year with the yam casserole. Actually, I think it was sticks of butter with pieces of yams in between. Either way, every aspect of this meal – turkey, casserole, rolls, mashed potatoes, red wine – was top notch. Surrounded by family made it an evening to remember.

Best Bargain: Green Chile Kitchen: If you want big, sloppy Mexican food – don’t go here. If you want fresh ingredients, good value, and to walk out like you did your body a service – please do go here. GCK has all the Mexican-food staples and delivers them in a healthy way. The counter ordering + sit-down dining room makes it a great spur-of-the-moment choice. Open for every meal of the day!

Now I'm really hungry.

The House is a Home Run. Grand slam, actually... when tied at the bottom of the 9th at the World Series...

This weekend I found myself on an impromptu girl date with fellow foodie Brooke W. She graciously let me choose the venue and since I've only heard her rave about this place say, 15,000 times, I definitely wanted my first time to be with her (hehehe). Without a reservation, we were promptly seated at a cozy two-top by the front door. While the tables are packed to the rafters, I still felt a sense of privacy.

I relinquished all ordering rights to Brooke and didn't even glance at the menu. I did notice, however, that one of my all-time favorite wines - Dry Creek Sauvignon Blanc - was on the menu and snatched that up right away. Out of the gates strong. First to be delivered was a small plate of asparagus with a sesame sauce. I don't normally go out of my way for asparagus, but found myself reaching back for more and more of these. The waitress then brought out the two appetizers: a Crab Cake and eel with avocado sushi rice. Where do I find the words to describe?? First, the crab cake is not a cake - it is a tower. A tower shaped like a large bell. The bell shape lends itself to a perfectly fried exterior AND a generous serving of moist crab meat in the middle. In my experience, most crab cake bites are 75% fried edge and 25% crab meat; not so at House. Best crab cake I've ever had.

I was getting a little flustered between the bites of Crab Cake and the the eel sitting next to it. The eel itself doesn't stand out too much in my mind but the avocado sushi rice it rested on will be etched in my memory forever. Creamy avocado rice - savory and sweet. Moist with a little crunch. Heaven.

At this point I actually thought we were done and was declaring Top 5 All Time candidacy. And. then. waitress. brought. sea. bass. This sea bass is a close-your-eyes, the world-stops hunk of fish. How a fish can taste this buttery is beyond me, but just a gentle poke of the fork and it divides like a warm stick of butter. It's complimented with a garlic-ginger soy sauce and a side of thick noodles. I remember the noodles being different (thick and non-pasta-y) but was so entranced by the fish I forgot to finish them. Or because I had just blacked out from food happiness.

The service, ambiance, noise-level, company, etc could have been terrible and I'd still recommend this place. But, you guessed it, all the accouterments only enhanced the happiness in my stomach. As you're mulling your New Year's Resolutions, I beg you to add The House to the list.

We are ho hum about Town Hall

Upon my arrival at Town Hall for lunch, I was stopped at the door by a perky greeter with “how are we today?” Somewhat entertained by her over-the-top enthusiasm, I smiled and replied I was doing great. Three strides later, I was stopped by another seemingly high hostess and asked “how are we doing today?” Now, I’m getting annoyed; I am fine - but you would have to ask my parents how they’re doing to determine how “we” are doing collectively. Shrug it off, Corinne. Enjoy yourself, darn it.

We took our seats in Town Hall’s main dining room; a space I sat in for lunch about two years ago with mixed results. Town Hall is a place people rave about and seem to go out of their way for. My first visit left me with no such inclination but I was willing to give it another shot. I walked in knowing exactly what I wanted - the fried chicken* - so was somewhat thrown when it wasn’t on the menu. The waiter then approached and - you guessed it - asked how “we” were doing today. I decided to speak for the table and assert we were doing well, thank you. Yes, I am dwelling on this “we” issue but their delivery struck me as pretentious and non-genuine. Our waiter reminded me of that weasel from Mad Men. I felt uncomfortable.

Since fried chicken wasn’t an option, I told the waiter “we would like the BBQ meatloaf.” My dad went for the burger and my mom ordered the pulled chicken (blonde moment of the day- I asked if pulled chicken was like pulled pork but with chicken? Uhh, yes - great deductive reasoning on my part). Our plates came out in record time - maybe ten minutes tops - so quickly that my dad was still noshing on his first piece of bread and butter. I enjoyed my meatloaf: it tasted a lot like sausage (yum!!) and had the sweet and savory combination that makes breakfast sausage so irresistible. It was served over a bed of creamy mashed potatoes and lightly sautéed vegetables. Like I said, I liked it - but I also saved half for later which means I could stop myself. My mom was pretty under whelmed with her pulled chicken; I had a bite and I could understand. There simply wasn’t much flavor to it - a sandwich you could get at a deli for the half the cost. My dad demolished his burger but he does so with canned applesauce with hot sauce on top (true story) so that’s not a great gauge. His fries were solid but nothing to write home about; in fact they were a little cold.

People love Town Hall. It’s in a very neat building and the interior is special. As far as the food goes, it may be unfair for me to judge since I have not been there for dinner. But based on my two lunch experiences, we will not be going out of our way to get back anytime real soon.

*After two months as a vegan I jumped ship about two weeks ago. It was a great experiment for me and my eating habits have definitely changed - but I no longer adhere to a zero tolerance policy toward meat and dairy.

A Marina Girl in the Mission

Like all major cities, each San Francisco neighborhood has its own distinct identity and is quite dissimilar from one another. Food is a major component driving what distinguishes the Marina from the Haight and the Financial District from the Richmond. And, based on empirical research, the restaurant scene seems to drive the kind of people that live and patronize the neighborhood. My visit to Monk’s Kettle in the Mission turned my theory on its head.

I had prepared myself for a very Mission-y night: dinner and drinks at Monk’s Kettle (16th & Valencia) followed by a live show at Café Du Nord (Market & 15th). The second I walked into Monk’s I turned to Sarah and said “did all these folks get lost on their way to the Marina?!?!” Popped collars and polo shirts were aplenty while not a skinny pant leg in sight. We arrived about 6:30 on a Thursday night and the narrow bar/restaurant was already bursting at the seams. After about a five minute wait – perfect timing to peruse the menus – we took our seats at the bar.

Monk’s Kettle is known for two things: beer and the pretzel. Obviously, Sarah and I had both. The giant pretzel (accompanied by mustard and cheese sauces) is on SF Top 100 list and with good reason: it came out piping hot and covered in thick salt rocks. The dough is a perfect doughy consistency. It’s large – perfect for two people split before the main course. With my pretzel I enjoyed the Au Naturale – American Blonde Grand Teton Brewing (yes, I picked it because of the ‘American Blonde’ part). For the main course, Sarah was a total sport and split the veggie burger with me. Having just downed half the pretzel and a tall beer, half of the burger was just the quantity I needed. Sarah and I both agreed it was thick and tasty – “I don’t even wish it was beef!!” At $8 (pretzel) and $11 (burger) this place is easy on the pocketbook as well.

To revisit my opening theme, Monk’s is a fun spot and absolutely worth re-visiting. But for some reason I can’t get over the fact that it does not have that authentic Mission feel. I didn’t feel like I scoped out unchartered territory; Monk’s would prosper (and attract the same crowd) on Chestnut Street or alongside Washington Square Park in North Beach. Does this matter? Probably not. But it’s what I’ll remember about it (that, and what a fun night it was with Sarah!)

Are you sure there's no cheese in that?!!?!

I hope you’re sitting down for what I am about to write. For the last six weeks I’ve been a vegan. A pretty damn good one, if I might add. I haven’t cheated or broken down (that I am aware of – I am sure butter or eggs have snuck in somewhere at some point but I’m not going to be neurotic about it); in fact, I’ve used the last six weeks to experiment with new recipes, buy fresh vegetables at the farmer’s market, and give my Crock Pot some love. I initially wanted to try it for two weeks but have found it much more pleasurable than I ever imagined. My thoughts about the whole concept are many and diverse – the stuff marathon training runs are made of. Crap, I really am turning into an SF liberal!

Now that you have some context, I can explain the reasoning behind my visit to Green Chile Kitchen. I had actually been there before and remember thinking it was high-quality, low priced Mexican food. Add to that bar seating, unpretentious wait-staff, and mellow atmosphere – and we have ourselves a winner! Veganism drastically limits dining-out options, but GCK’s menu caters to hearty carnivores and picky plant-eaters alike. For the first time in six weeks, I had multiple enticing options to choose from but ultimately settled on the vegetarian burrito (I could have gone for tacos, chilie, etc). Truly one of the better burritos I’ve had. My greatest fear about dairy-less burritos is the dryness factor as there is no cheese or sour cream to glue the main characters together. I cannot tolerate a dry, crumbly burrito. This burrito was large and moist; stuffed with (organic) refried beans, brown rice, fresh vegetables, and guacamole. No cheese and no guac but I really wouldn’t have noticed the difference – in fact I exclaimed to my friend “are you sure there isn’t cheese in there!??!” multiple times.

I walked out feeling like I had eaten a healthy meal, ie no bloating, no stomach aches, or none of the pitfalls of a greasy Mission burrito. To top it off, the burrito was cheap ($6) and I had a few bites leftover for a midnight snack.

I haven't starved to death

It's been a chunk since I updated and the break doesn't mean I've been deprived of delicious food! In fact, the past few weeks have been jam-packed with memorable dining experiences. But if one stands out, it was my evening at Acquerello. If dreams could dream, they would fantasize about dining here. I've always referred to it as the unsung hero of fine dining in San Francisco. It's supposed to be as good as Michael Mina and Gary Danko, yet most people haven't even heard of it. It's location (buried next to a auto shop on Sacramento at Polk) adds to its under-the-radar status. Yet, it has received a coveted Michelin star rating and countless other awards.

I walked in and upon finding my chair, the maitre d' asked approached me with a black napkin to see if I would prefer it over the white one already on my lap (presumably to match my pants? or to make lint less visible?). He also brought over a foot chair, so god forbid, my Nordstrom Rack purse wouldn't touch the ground.

Diners can choose between three, four, or five courses from the menu. With the bread, various "surprises from the chef," and complimentary truffles at the end - three courses is plenty. I started with a chilled melon soup, then moved to a pasta with foie gras, black truffles and Marsala; and closed with a Monkfish. The soup was like a five star smoothie - refreshing, flavorful, and not something I have access to often (ever since I had the chilled melon soup at Jean George in NYC, I've always been drawn to them). The highlight was the pasta. I am not a big pasta eater at all, but this dish may turn me into a convert. The pasta was so perfect, I could imagine the chefs in the kitchen carefully crafting each rigatoni ring; add in the sauce - which tasted like a slightly savory carmel sauce - and I was in heaven. To be brutally honest, the monkfish wasn't a homerun for me but I blame it on bad ordering. Monkfish is, by nature, mild and thus the flavors didn't pop like the previous two. No fault of the restaurant.

The service is what transforms this from a simple meal into an experience. Each diner at the table has a personal waiter who brings her the plate and explains exactly what's going on. The dining room is large and open, yet I felt like I was the only one there. Lastly, the waiter brings a truffle cart with about six different varieties and lets you pick out the ones you want to try (you can try all if you want to!). Oh, I was also brought out a small gift box on my way out (home-made biscotti for the road).

As you may imagine, this stuff ain't cheap - it is a "once a year" type of place. Only 345 days to go....